| WARNING: ELKS CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH | |||||||||||||||||
| THE PRIMITIVE ELK, SEEN IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT (below) | ELK: A.K.A. MERLIN, IllUSION, SNOOPIE, K-OSS. AGE: 16 HUMAN YEARS (999,999,999 IN ELK YEARS) SEX: UMM....YES PLZ (MALE) LOCATION: AT MY PC, IN MY ROOM, IN MY HOUSE, IN ******, WESTERN AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALASIA, THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE, EARTH, SOUTH PARK. OCCUPATION: SITTING ON MY POSTERIOR WATCHING SOUTH PARK WARNING: SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ARMED AND TIRED. IF APPROACHED BY ONE, GIVE IT SOME COFFEE, OTHERWISE, SEVERE HEAD BUTTING MAY OCCUR. | ||||||||||||||||
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| ELKS CAN BECOME VERY VICIOUS WHEN THEY ARE DISTURBED (WHILE PLAYING QUAKE) | |||||||||||||||||
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| KNOWN ALIASES OF ELK: VIET: A.K.A. SHORTIE AGE: 16 HEIGHT: 2 FEET AND 2 HANDS AND SHRINKING DANGER LEVEL: 25. SMALL BUT VISCOUS. HE COULD BITE YOUR ANKLE OFF IF HE HAD SHARP ENUFF TEETH (AND IF HE WAS A BIT TALLER). DARREN: A.K.A. DAZZA, TOADY. AGE: 16 HEIGHT: 50 METRES HIGH (HAIR MAKES UP MOST OF IT) DANGER LEVEL: 50. BECOMES EXCITED AFTER WATCHING MY 3 SONS. TELLS LETHAL YOUR MAMA JOKES. AARON: A.K.A. AZZ AGE: 16 HEIGHT: I DUNNO, YOU THINK I GO AROUND MEASURING PEOPLE'S HEIGHT? DANGER LEVEL: 5. ONLY VISCOUS WHEN KICKED REPEATEDLY. DAMIAN: A.K.A. DAMO AGE: 16 HEIGHT: TOO TALL FOR HIS OWN GOOD DANGER LEVEL: 10. CONSIDER HIM FATALLY WEIRD. MILKO: A.K.A. OUR IMAGINARY FRIEND HEIGHT: AS ABOVE NOTE: HE IS REAL I TELL YOU! IMAGINARY IS A DIRTY WORD. HE'S JUST INVISIBLE THATS ALL. IF SEEN DO NOT APPROACH THE GROUP. THEY ARE TOO WEIRD FOR THEIR OWN GOOD! STAY AWAY! GROUP OF GIRLS WANTED TO EMAIL US (15+) AS....PEN PALS. HEH HEH, SMACK! OWWW... | |||||||||||||||||
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